The Scales of Justice

I know better, but yesterday I got on the scale at work anyway.

I’m not certain who first put it in the ladies’ room, or why: I’m lucky in that my the extent of my workplace’s health initiatives has been putting a poster about healthy food in our breakroom. It may have been part of someone’s diet initiative, or it may have been because it doesn’t really work: the scale weighs, on average, 5 to 10 pounds heavier than real life.

And I know this. I even had to warn a new employee once, who was about to skip her lunch because she got on the dratted scale. But sometimes I do it anyway. It keeps my math skills sharp, you see.

  1. Look at horrible number on scale, realizing it’s only horrible to me.
  2. Subtract five pounds from number.
  3. Subtract four pounds from number, because my clunky boots weigh two pounds each.
  4. Subtract another couple of pounds for clothes.
  5. Realize that this puts me right about where I thought I was to begin with.
  6. Shake my head and swear I’m never going to do this again.
  7. Do this again in six months or whenever I feel particularly fat.

On one hand, this is really unhealthy. On the other hand, if all those Nintendo DS ads about brain games are true, I’m keeping my mind young through math games. Thank god I’m not wasting my time. 🙂


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