My New Year’s Resolution For Other People

There are a lot of things I’d like to see happen in 2008, but for the moment I’d like to linger in the shallow end of my wishing well:

I want more celebrities to get drivers.

Just think how much more we’d all have accomplished in ’07 if those stars’ DUIs had simply never happened! (Even if you have your post-doc in ignoring Britney Spears I imagine you, like me, were a little annoyed that Gary Collins burst back into the public consciousness by weaving all over its highways.  I hadn’t even thought about that man since 1987, and now he has something other than bilateral symmetry in common with Lindsay Lohan.)

Not to mention, you’d be employing some nice, salt-of-the-earth mechanic types and making less work for online gossip columnists (at least till someone’s chauffeur racks up his own DUI.) Win-win!

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. CompassRose
    Jan 03, 2008 @ 08:25:00

    The drivers would just get celebrities (or their underage daughters) pregnant. Celebrity is a lose-lose situation, I'm afraid.


  2. Apostrophina
    Jan 03, 2008 @ 08:31:00

    Very true, I'm afraid.And yet, you know, to the average hatchback owner there's something so glamorous-sounding about having a driver. If we must have scandals, can't we at least have a whiff of Old Hollywood decadence instead of people running over photographers' feet all the time?(Yes, sadly, my point probably is that Myrna Loy would at least have had someone maim the paparazzi for her. At least I'm not setting the bar for 2008 too high, too quickly.)


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